Last night I sang a heartfelt song at church. Its one that made me think of a friend at work who has been missing now for 18 days. I have gone out searching for him a couple of times and I just wish we could find him for his family. The song is called There is a longing . One verse says “there is a longing in heart for you to reveal yourself to us.” In context it is clearly about our God, but I feel the same about Ryan. I am praying that we find him soon. We miss you friend! Please reveal yourself to us so we can find you soon!
There are alot of strong people in my life. My heroine is one of them. I love Alta and have known her since I was born. She’s my heroine for many reasons she has always been a strong and witty lady full of spunk and charm. I remember many times staying at her home in Seaside up in the attic with the slanted ceiling with the beautiful fabric kites on the wall by the staircase leading up to the attic. Alta always had momentos that are so distinctly her including her witch of seaside rocks, witches adroning her door, her bible, pictures of family and friends, the driftwood polished table, and her bible always open with a ribbon down the center. I’m so happy to see that even though she moved to the assisted living facility she is still sharp as a tack and opinionated as ever. We had a lovely conversation and I hadn’t seen her since things changed with my ex and I. She told be that I don’t need a man and I said Alta I want to have kids some day and her response was to adopt. I paused and smiled at this remarkable lady. Alta had someone in her life and things didn’t work out. She never remarried or had kids but her life was so full and wonderful. Its nice to think there is life after divorce and seeing this remarkable lady reminds me that I am strong and I have accomplished so many things including 2 5k’s, I am closer with more of my extended family, I have driven more in Portland than I ever thought that I would, and probably most importantly I have become stronger in my faith. Thank you Alta for always being there for me. I love you!
This year has been a tough one I have to admit. These are the things I am most thankful for an amazing family and group of friends. Though this year has been difficult I have had the greatest support system anyone could ever hope for. Things I am glad to leave behind a toxic relationship that drained me and though I tried everything to save it, I’m actually ok with how things turned out. Some things were not meant to be. I was meant to be a mommy and my ex didn’t want that so I am getting an annulment and pushing forward to make my dreams a reality someday. I am thankful to be dating an amazing guy who was able to calm me down while I was waiting to hear about my job. I lost my job this year but I also got hired onto another position within a week. I’m just waiting for the final background check and I will start after the new year after the holidays. Until then I have been baking like crazy and preparing for the holidays. I am singing at the grotto with my church choir, spending the holidays with my family, meeting with good friends, taking care of some of my friends animals, and just relaxing. I’m optimistic for a wonderful year next year with hopefully some travels to see family and friends :) Wouldn’t that be nice?
I have never thought of myself as amazing. I know that I work hard and have a zest for life but there are things I want to accomplish this year. This year is a year of new beginnings and of promise. There are alot of changes happening in my life some negative but so many are positive I can hardly wait. I’ve been a cup half full type of person my whole life. Things WILL get better! I just know it :)
Goals for this year: Make positive changes in my life and to take care of me
Run a 5K
Go to my first concert
Go indoor rock climbing again
Anything else will just be a bonus